Passionate Struggling: How to Struggle Powerfully

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Passionate Purpose: Discovering the Will of God in Our Lives

This post will be the 5th I've made so far this month, and it'll be for my faculty's upcoming Christian fellowship camp. It is part of a trilogy which I'll call the 'Passion Fruit' Series - the fruit of our passion for God that He will cause to bear. It corresponds to three situations that we will continually grapple with at each stage of our lives - discovering God's will in our lives; the existence of struggles as we overcome the obstacles to obey His will, and making the decisions on how to carry out His will and on situations we face as we grow up in age.

This post will be concerning the purpose of God in our lives, something that many many Christians often ask God about, and repeatedly so. We ask because unlike non-Christians, what we are doing physically are truly not as important as what God is trying to bring about through what, why, where, when we do and how we do it. What should the outcome look like, and is this REALLY what I should be doing at this point of time? I would use the term 'will' of God because I feel that 'purpose' seems to connote permanence, while 'will' seems more neutral. I would also avoid using the 'call' of God - it gives the impression that God literally calls people directly and tells them to start going a particular route. This happens does happen and is not all too rare. However, this is not the ONLY way God gets us to serve Him in a particular field for the long-term. Thus I still think 'will' is the most appropriate. This post is really long (I think the longest so far) because I list down as many reasons and examples I can think of so that it is as comprehensive as possible.

General Will of God

The will of God (what God wants to happen and things to turn out like) can be divided entirely based on this two categories: general will, and specific will. The general will is essentially the Word of God - what God desires of us and all His commands and instructions for us. I'll be relying heavily on Dr. Christopher Wright's writing and content for this part. He covered this so well that I would just refer to it (please read it!)

Part 1: Holistic Missions and Building the Church:

http://www.wycliffe.net/missiology?id=2723

Part 2: Serving Society and Creation Care:

http://www.wycliffe.net/missiology?id=2729

Condensed PDF with many Biblical references: http://www.evangeliskalliance.dk/media/9152/handout%20-%20integral%20mission%20and%20the%20great%20commission.pdf

I will also include a summary:

Ephesians 1:9-10 ESV - Making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth. In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will 

Colossians 1:20 NIV - and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross.

God's purpose for creation and man is to:
1) To know Him and to be known by Him; to be loved by Him and to love Him.
This can be seen in the above two verses, where God desires to 'unite all things in Him' and to 'reconcile to Himself all things'. So to understand what that means, we refer to the state of affairs before sin set in, in the Garden of Eden, with Adam and Eve and their relationship with God. At that time point of time, humans walked freely before and with God - building a personal relationship. And in a personal relationship, both parties get to know each other better. And as God is love (1 John 4:8), to know God and be involved with God is to be loved with God and therefore we respond with love to God as well (1 John 4:19).

2) To do the works He prepared for us to do (Ephesians 2:10)

Here is a short, point form summary of what Dr Christopher Wright wrote in the link above.

• Building the Church in terms of and through evangelism, discipling/teaching
• Serving society with compassion and justice
• Creation Care (for the living things and the environment)

We have now established the general will of God in the world and thus in our lives and our existence. Before we go on to ask about and discover the specific will of God in our lives, we must ask this question: are we obeying the general will of God in our lives? I'm not saying like ALL of it, that's just impossible. But do we acknowledge that this is God's general will for man and also, at least in part, somewhat involved and contributing towards the effort to fulfill His will? If the answer is no, then truly there is no point finding out the specific will of God, because He will not tell you. Even if He did, you won't obey. And if He did, it won't be good for the relationship between you and God, because the lack of obedience shows the lack of a strong, trusting relationship, telling you would only cause you to seek the will, not the person, of God - which is contrary to the 'reconciling' desire of God. If the answer is yes, then let's move on to the next part. 

Specific Will of God

I write this part mainly for people who do not already posses an obvious calling since young, or those whom others have prophesied for you and you yourself are convicted about it and are already embarking on that route. For most of us, such things do not happen to us and therefore we need to figure it out. One thing we can be certain about the specific will of God is that it will never be outside of the general will of God or conflict with it. After all, there would be no way God would contradict His own Word (in the Bible.) Thus, the specific will is the 'expression' of the general will of God i.e. the form it takes in our own lives - how God has designed His general will to be personalized for each individual person. Also, I believe that the specific will has a time-frame: short-term specific wills and long-term specific wills. Why? Think of our own education: there is a purpose and objective in each of the subjects we take and at each level. For some of them, we take them further, but for some, we don't. And yet each fulfills its own purpose: some subjects are to train us to think in a certain way or develop certain skills, while some is for exploration and exposure. Still there are others intended to build our foundation for the future courses/jobs/requirements we will undertake. This is supported by Ecclesiastes 3:1 - there is a time for everything; a time to obey God in a particular area and a time to follow God in another aspect.

I also want to add that based on my personal experience, I think it is best to discover God's purpose for you in short-term specific wills. Long-term specific wills, as its name implies, take long to show itself and at times we may not yet be able to see the big picture of God. Just like reading a novel/fiction, we read it page by page, and we may time to time foresee what's going to happen by understanding the setting described by the author, but ultimately we look forward to read (or skip the boring parts) what is to come. There are also plot twists that totally catch us off guard, which makes the story so much more exciting. Thus being overly concerned with predicting the next chapter or how the story ends may in fact ruin the whole experience. If your friend tells you spoilers, or the ending of the book before you reach it yourself - most of the enjoyment of reading it will be gone, no? Likewise for finding out God's purpose for us in our lives. Thus for the rest of the post, look at discovering the specific will of God from this angle.

Asking Questions
To start discovering the specific will of God at any point of time in our lives, there are a few questions that we should ask ourselves. This lets us understand our hearts and motives better, because ultimately God's desire is for us to be reconciled with Him in heart and knowledge and deed. Knowing ourselves better will provide us with a better hint of what is to come and also God's thoughts for us. 

"Why do you ask: 'What is God's specific will for me?' "
This question is of utmost importance. There is always a reason why we ask anyone any question (even if the answer is just curious/bored), whether in school/work/social circles. An example is: "How are you?" There are a wide range of reasons people ask this, and therefore a myriad of answers. Thus, we should also know why we are asking God about His specific will in our lives, only then do we know what sort of answer we are looking for and will answer THE question we have. We don't always ask this question after all: Sometimes, we just want to get through a particular rough patch in our lives regardless of God's will; or are enjoying a period so much that we wished it would last forever. And yet sometimes, we do ask, Maybe because we don't understand why terrible things are happening in our lives; or perhaps the current season/period feels boring/meaningless. Or there is great pain and loneliness. Or our lives pale in comparison to friends whose lives are so purposeful and joyful due to their purpose in God. Again, rarely do we ask with only one aspect of what I listed below, often they are a mix and intermingle to produce something rather complicated. Do reflect and think of your own answers.

For our Own Gain

Jesus too is interested in knowing why we asked what we asked. Mark 10:17-29 wrote about a rich man's conversation with Jesus. The man asked: "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" (v17) and Jesus replied his question with another: "Why do you call me good?" In the parallel story in Matthew 19:17, Jesus' response was: "Why do you ask me what is good?" Jesus' response to the rich man in Mark 10:19 (you know the commandments) showed that the man already knew the answer, and further down in v20 he admitted that he had kept them. Just like us, the rich man was asking Jesus asking for the specific will of God after obeying the general will. Ultimately, however, he found it difficult to obey even after Jesus told him what's next for him. Nobody knows whether eventually he did as Jesus said or not, but from his sadness as he left (v22), I make a guess on why he asked Jesus how to gain eternal life: because he wants to continue enjoying his wealth, via living forever. (checking the original Greek for eternal life - it literally means eternal, long-lasting life). If he valued God in his life more, perhaps he would not have "went away sad". 'Being rich' is definitely not an absolute obstacle for followers of Jesus (see Matthew 27:57-60). For those of us asking for the specific will of God in our lives, why do we ask? I can assuredly tell you, if its for personal gain and wanting more for ourselves - be it ambition, achievements, romance, wealth, pleasure - you'd much rather not know the answer to the question, because like the rich man, you will 'walk away sad'. Because very often there is no promise of such, and even then, "much is given, much is expected". I write this not to make you forget about asking the question altogether, but to point you towards what Jesus told the man - obey and you will have treasures in heaven." (see Matthew 6:19-20) I'm convinced that Jesus used the term 'treasure' here and not 'rewards' or 'crown of life' or 'glory', to convince and assure that what is stored in heaven for him would definitely satisfy. Brothers and sisters, Jesus is NOT a taker of the blessings in our life. But He is a giver, an extremely generous giver, who wants to give us so much more, if only we will realize it. What God gives, will always satisfy and be enjoyed in abundance. If you truly want to follow God but fear that you are unable to surrender your desires/ambitions fully and pay the cost of following Jesus, then look to v25-27:

Mark 10:25-27 NIV - It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

Unwilling or Difficult to Accept His will

Next, in Mark 8:11-13, Jesus asked why the Pharisees asked for a sign from heaven (I don't don't know what the sign was for). Mark records the reason for their actions - 'to test Him' (v11). Luke 4:12 records Jesus' comment - "do not put the Lord your God to the test." And therefore in this case, we can guess that the Pharisees weren't really interested in getting their 'questions' answered, but were simply challenging Jesus' authority. Thus, Jesus ignored them and left them with nothing but a sigh. For us, when we ask for His specific will, are we asking to see if what God has in mind is the same as what we have? To see if it coincides? And then to reject Him when it doesn't? What we 'have in mind' need not be sinful or 'worldly'. It can even be to please God - maybe you want to be a worship leader. Maybe you want to be an economist to make an impact for God. Maybe you want to go join full time ministries in Christian organizations. But if you don't surrender these plans to God and prioritize God's plan regardless of whether it coincides with yours or not, then there's no point asking. God will sigh at you. The Pharisees, too, love God and are zealous for Him, wanting to keep the Law and obey, just not in the way God wants them to. 

Perhaps, for some of us, we are just like the Pharisees, who refused to believe that Jesus could actually be God, even after all the miracles - healing, casting out of demons, raising people from the dead -  He has done. They could not bear to let the traditions of their faith be done away by anyone, even God, thus hardening their hearts to Jesus. For us, when we ask for the specific will, repeatedly, it could be because we aren't willing to accept what God had already said. Ask yourself: "Have you truly not witnessed the miracles of God and His prompting? Are you sure you that really don't know, that God has not already replied?" Be honest and objective. It's okay if you find it truly difficult, or even impossible to accept God's specific will for you, but you must not lose your spiritual sensitivity to Him. With time and perseverance on your part, His desire for you will consume you to accept His will for you. And I pray that you will live out this verse: "I do belief, help me overcome my unbelief." (Mark 9:24) But you must stop living in self-denial, lest it cause you future regret. How would the Pharisees feel if they finally realized that they "crucified the Lord of glory" (1 Corinthians 2:8) because they refused to believe? At least, unbearable pain and guilt. Peter only denied Jesus, and yet he was so broken afterwards. Judas Iscariot committed suicide after realizing his deeds. All their deeds are done, in the words of Jesus: "...for they know not what they are doing." (Luke 23:34). Yet the consequences are still real. So don't willfully resist God. You are only causing yourself future pains. 

Regret - I squandered my chance, I ignored God. It's too late, what now?
Once we realized the damage caused by "what we do not know what we are doing", we ask for the specific will of God because we worry that we blew our chance in the kingdom of God - what we missed out; how we screwed up. Maybe its because we were not faithful with what we have; we were clueless; we were much more self-absorbed previously; we hurt people that were really important in our lives. "God, do I have another chance to make it 'right'?" We are forgiven, but can we reverse the damage? That is our heart's loudest cry. Indeed, some damages can be reversed, some not. Our actions may cause serious consequences in some cases, and fatal consequences in some cases. But God STILL has plans and purposes for us, and still has a specific will for us. We consider the life of the prophet Jonah. A holy man, chosen by God specifically for His special and unique purpose, knowingly disobeyed and ran in the opposite direction of His mission (Jonah 1:3). Who of us can say that we are holier or more special than this prophet? And yet he, like us, knowingly disobeyed the Most High. But in chapter 2, he repented and decided to obey God - thus God used the fish to return Jonah to dry land (2:10) In chapter 3, Jonah commanded Nineveh to repent, and many lives were spared from God's wrath. It is true that if Jonah had left immediately to Nineveh at chapter 1, upon God's specific command, some sinful actions would not have been committed in Nineveh. Perhaps some innocent people would have lived; some theft, robberies, rape, sexual immorality and murders would not have taken place. This is fact, and cannot be changed, just like some of the consequences of our actions - irreversible. But the neither the Bible nor God mentioned that in the book of Jonah (but are mentioned in other instances in the Bible) What was recorded was the more than 120,000 people that were spared, together with the cattle (4:11). I pray that we would feel regret and shame for our mistakes, but not so much that we focus so much on the un-mentioned innocents and forget about the ">120,000" we could have impacted instead. Remember, "Bear fruit in keeping with repentance." (Matthew 3:8 ESV) God's purpose, just like a good GPS, cannot be hindered by a bad driver and a lack of fuel. But I still hope that you're a good driver and have fuel, so that you can arrive there in good shape (living life in Christ) and not in a tow truck (the glory of being a Christ-follower).

Clueless
The Pharisees of Jesus' time wield a lot of influence amongst the masses. They produced many rules to observe for the masses over the years, making it difficult for the average person, Jew or Gentile, to truly see and understand the heart of God. Some of us are like the masses, the average Jew/Gentile then. We just obey and follow what the leaders say. At that time, the masses (at least some of them) may not have access to Scripture and thus have to take the word of the religious authorities as law and obey them. However today, in Singapore, this is definitely not the case. But some of us fall into this trap of equating our spiritual communities as God. They are related, but not the same. God knows you fully, even better than yourself. Your friends, mentors and leader don't. Thus, I encourage you to think very hard and reflect upon your life. Don't always immediately fall back to consulting your spiritual buddies, mentors and leaders at the first sign of uncertainty. This is because you need to:

• Develop a greater understanding of God and also the sensitivity towards Him. This means the way He communicates with you, His long-term specific will for you (slowly!), His love and desire for you... essentially, building a stronger personal relationship. 
• Understand yourself better, what God has created and trained you to become. 
• Be certain and assured of God's presence, purposes and plans in your life. 

If you always depend on the people around you to tell you what God has purposed for you, eventually it will become harder to obey, because you may not truly believe and be convinced that what they told you is what God intends for you (even if that is truly the case). Are you okay with your spiritual community orders you to work in a particular sector for the rest of your life or marry a certain someone that you don't think is suitable? And what if they lost their spiritual sensitivity to God and mistakenly say what they did, or even worse, have selfish reasons for what they told you and masked it as God's command? They will be called to account to God, but you still bear the consequences. And if you saw them as God, you will become bitter and upset at God, who is absolutely innocent here. So I strongly recommend that before asking those you trust, to do your own reflections and communications with God. Think of the current circumstance, the previous circumstance, the future, what God has convicted you, your experience with Him, your gifting, your resources.... only once you are more certain of God's possible purposes in your life, then you consult your community to see if they on the same page as what you thought. Continually do this in your whole life at regular intervals - be it months or annually. This whole experience and exposure will be really beneficial for us as children and servant of God, making us more attuned to our Father's heart and thoughts, purpose and will. 

"God won't use me" - Feeling forgotten/unimportant

For some, while we ask the question, "how will God use me (what is His specific will for me)," the real question we are asking is: "will God use me?" And by 'use', I don't mean to use us in places and roles where we are already very comfortable i.e. in things we think are 'small'. Do note that this is different from despising easier/background work, but 'small' in the sense that our abilities are more than sufficient for what we need to do. If I can write an entire book, writing announcements for the church bulletin is absolutely within my capability and control. This work is thus 'small', and is still God-honoring work, but not to the extent that we come to depend wholly on God on bent knees. I'm convinced that God has trained us such that in 'small' things we continue to trust in Him, but we won't be clingy kids.

In my own live, the specific question I had was: will God only allow me to do 'small' stuff for the rest of my life, because I'm more flawed than everybody around me? It was a mortal wound - each time I sought the specific will of God in my life (the 'big' works), the wound (inflicted by the devil's lies on hindsight) became worse. Eventually I grew cynical, desperate, and became an unwilling servant for all 'small' things. And I also condemned myself for being that way - and sought to change it in whatever ways possible. Watching yourself fall, in slow motion, is a dreadful, sickening and demoralizing sight. This lasted for 2 and a half years, until I knew what God has purposed for me. And I was just so so so amazed by how intricate His plans for me are, and was so glad that I did not give up following or obeying all those years - His Word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path (Psalm 119:105), together with a few precious friends. As someone who experienced that, I would not wish that you figured this out the way I did, but sometimes there is no other way - don't give up, hold on to His promises in Jeremiah 29:11 NIV - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. As we continue to ask: "Will God use me?", let the Word of God and your personal relationship with Him increasingly assure you that He INDEED has a plan for you, whether you see it or not. Our response will then transform from "Will God use me?" to "Each of these 'small' things are mere training for the 'big' things God has in store for me."

Knowing what and how to prepare for what is to come and MORE of God

If you're asking the question for the above reason, truthfully you can ask God yourself, and I am certain He will answer you. If you cannot hear Him, then I recommend you to refer to the above section: 'Clueless'. Most likely, you haven't been intentionally developing your communication channels with God. So work on that, and in the meantime, ask more questions, especially the one right below.

"Have we been faithful with what we have now?"

This is important because God has great plans for us, and us as the vessel has got to be more well-equipped and more able. However great God is, He desires to use us, and our abilities would also impact what He wants to do through us (there's no argument here - refer to Psalms 144:1). Matthew 25:14-30 - The Parable of the Bags of Gold, Luke 16:1-13 - The Parable of the Shrewd Manager both tell us that only those who are faithful with little will be faithful with more, and therefore get more. If you have indeed been faithful (do check with those around you, especially your leaders, whether in spiritual or secular settings), then I believe you can have the confidence to ask God for 'more', for His specific will that brings 'more' of His presence and kingdom in your live. I know that in most settings, and even when we ask ourselves, there are surely much more things/ministries/places we can be faithful in - but what I personally feel God is truly asking us is: "Have you been faithful with the little amount of 'Me' in your life, that I may give you with more of 'Me'?" Our devotion is to the Lord, and our caring, faithful stewardship of the things He entrusted to us stems from that devotion.

I am personally convicted and convinced that being 'faithful' with little/much must also include the conscious polishing of our skills by which we use to serve God. An example is my own story: I discovered, during one of my recent weekly services - that my purpose in God (for the long-term) should be along the lines of building people up in a unique way - by gifting them and inspiring them to build 'divine weapons' for God. (refer to my post 'Divine Weapons'). All along, even before I knew and confirmed this purpose of mine, I was actively involved in building people up, talking to them about their blindspots, mentoring them. But I also actively sought ways to get better at it and also try new means of mentoring - by getting one of my mentee to turn my teachings for him into a blogpost (Divine Weapons), getting them to teach me something they learnt recently to crystallize their learnings, and of course blogging such that people can learn much and deep from my content. In terms of the Word of God, I memorized entire books (See 'Memorizing the Bible' post) bit by bit. I picked up the guitar which I have negative talent in. I learnt to articulate my thoughts better from my university modules, so I can bring it back to benefit the kingdom of God. I used skills learnt from my university vocation to manage communities and people better. Etc. As you are faithful with little, the day will come when God will convict you of His specific will, be it short-term or long-term, and you're totally ready to move along with Him. Look and work towards that; it'll be so so so worth it!!!

However, if you have not been faithful with what you have now, then assuredly I can tell you that God's specific will for you would simply be "learn to be faithful in little NOW", because He truly loves you, and can't wait to give you more of Himself. Think with me: if God actually responses to our questions about His specific will/purpose in our lives, and give us 'more' when we have such a careless attitude towards what He entrusted to us, whom (people) and which (gifting/talents/resources) are all precious to Him, then isn't He actually affirming and confirming that we CAN be careless with the little we have and live as we please? Then, there is no need for 1 Peter 2:9 NIV - "But you are a chosen people, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness and into His wonderful light." How are we still holy - set apart - before God, "just as He is holy?" (Leviticus 11:44,45). Or imagine, in the Parable of the Bags of Gold (Matthew 25), the master neither scolds or punishes the lazy servant with 1 bag of gold who did not bother trying, and instead gave him more gold, putting him "in charge of many things" and telling him to "share in the master's happiness". The other servants will surely think: "why bother working; why bother producing more gold?" And if the entire Church thinks like that, how would she remain the radiant bride of Christ? She would simply remain a self-interested woman who only seeks to take advantage of her husband, not free from accusation by the devil, but evil, sinful and hideous.

"What could I do now if I knew God's specific will?"
Here, I am referring to the action people can take. There would be times where there is a physical action we can take to either execute His will or prepare us for do execute in the future. There are times when we can't, and knowing the specific will or not will have negligible or no difference. 

An example about when we 'can't do anything' would make this clearer. I once read about the great evangelist (in Africa) Reinhard Bonnke's autobiography (please Wiki it if you don't know who he is!). He heard the call of God at the age of 10 in 1950, along with the baptism of the Holy Spirit, to be an evangelist in Africa and spread the gospel there. At the age of 10, he knows nothing about Africa, neither does he have the skills, knowledge or understanding of God - how was he to preach the gospel to them? Much less to a country of people with such a different culture and socio-economic background. I don't know why God told him about this vision at 10 years old, but the point is that there was nothing he could do but simply grow in God, which he did. Some 20-30 years later, when he was already serving in Africa, God again gave him a similar, but stronger vision: a blood-washed (Jesus' blood) Africa, that Africa shall be saved. And this time, there was something he could do since he was already there, and that compelled him to do so much, so much more. For us, we may feel restless not knowing what God has purposed for us - well, maybe it's because right now telling us or not would not cause any difference in our actions and walk with Him. Consider Moses, who lived 80 years before God called him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. His 80 years were preparation for what is to come and must take place. Seeing his fear and reluctance even after God expressly commanded and assured him, I would think that if Moses knew God's plans earlier, Moses will live his entire life in panic and hesitation, not growth, and not be fully trained and ready for his task. Thus, perhaps a better question to ask if you do not get any reply from God about your specific will is: "God, what should I grow in?" instead. 

Sometimes, there is something we can do once we knew. In my case, once I knew the God's purpose for me is to build people up extensively, (as written above), the action I took was 1) blog MORE, 2) find and employ habits that would make me love the Word more - memorizing the bible more enthusiastically, using the SOAP model (by Wayne Cordeiro) for reading my Bible daily, 3) find opportunities whereby I can practice, apply and expand these skills - such as the recent Bible study camp I went. So all this prepares me for the purpose of God that He is getting me to do. Having said that, we would only know truly if there is something we can do once we know what is the specific will of God itself. However, we can still in the meantime develop the perspective and ability to create 'space' and time in our lives for God and His sudden movement. Learning to put aside our schedules, desires, commitments and concerns for God would definitely make it easier for us to hear, accept and execute the specific will of God in our lives when it comes. 

Compilation of Related Thoughts

Connected to People and Place

If we believe that God is sovereign, we have to believe that the community and environment which we end up in is not by random chance, but by His will. (This is assuming you don't purposely make decisions that disobey God and His written Word, but desire to honor and prioritize Him in your life). This particular company; this particular school; this particular neighborhood are surely in some ways involved or are themselves God's specific will for you. Jeremiah 29:7 NIV - "Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." Together with 29:11 - "a plan to prosper you, and not to harm you". We are to be "salt and light" to the world, so naturally we need an audience called the world - which takes the form of the people around us, located in the place we are at.

Long-term Purpose Pre-requisite: Making Lifetime Choices

In my opinion, Moses was reluctant to accept God's command for him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt was because he knew this is a lifetime mission. However, he had lived for 80 years and probably had learnt (or forced to learn) to make such choices and accept their consequences 1) from marrying Zipporah, a life time partner, and 2) killing an Egyptian, becoming a fugitive on the run 3) 80 years of living. God then appeared before Moses, knowing that Moses, reluctant as he is, would accept this important mission and not give up until he dies. Just like Moses, God is training us to eventually be able to accept the long-term purpose/mission He prepared for us. As much as God trains our skills/abilities, He also wants to train our sense of responsibility and conviction to whatever cause He has. I'm not not sure how to train this capacity to make lifetime choices at 20-something year old, but I think it is definitely based on a trust that what God has prepared for us to do and commit to, is surely to our benefit and satisfaction, because He is loving, all-powerful and good. 

The way some of us eventually decide to accept the long-term purpose is to simply go with the flow of whatever we are doing until we become convinced, or when there's no way out because we are so deeply involved, not fully by our own free will. These are not wrong, and they do happen sometimes, but what I think is most ideal is that we choose what God has surfaced to us and then sign the contract with God: a genuine partnership in which God tells us what He wants of us while we also enthusiastically volunteer to do it, just like Jesus, as He wholeheartedly embraced will of the Father. the I personally believe that at least at the early stages, as we embark on this particular purpose/will, it will bring us further, more enthusiastic, more convicted. 

In as many Seasons as possible, Explore

Sometimes after we feel like we have a lot on our plates already, we stop letting our imaginations run wild. Here I'm not saying that we should rashly overload our commitments or schedule - but that there are many Christians who stop caring about anything outside of their responsibilities/time. This is not ideal - Philippians 2:4 NIV - "not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Interest here need not specifically be our own personal benefits - but also the things that we care about: our ministry, our flock, our family, our passions etc. Look at and explore what others are concerned about, Christians or not. God created all things; God who is "over all and through all and in all". (Ephesians 4:6). You may discover more of Him in unexpected places, people and settings that draw you to come appreciate and love Him even more - and perhaps 'more' specific wills that arise from a new conviction/understanding. I personally love to read mangas and novels, and these things, though not Scriptural and of the Bible, do express some biblical values that I could appreciate/relate to better than the Bible, and thus help me to understand the Word of God and God more. Of course, we also don't want to be Christians who immerse themselves entirely in the world and things that are not of their primary responsibility - do not totally 'go with the flow', spare some thought and ask God, and also seek Godly counsel from your spiritual community and mentors. 

Acquired Taste and Appreciation
Sometimes, God simply does not respond even after all the above questions was answered satisfactorily. And that's totally common as well. It's probably because we have yet not reached the maturity and level of imagination required to understand and appreciate what God has prepared for us. After all, Isaiah 55:8-9 says: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."Its like alcoholic beverages. I never heard of a children who love alcohol (okay I did, but those are... something-goes-horribly-wrong cases), because they are bitter, whereas children all like sweet stuffs (of which some grow to dislike it). It takes time for children to start appreciating alcohol, in the same way it takes time for us to see and appreciate things the way God does - after being immersed in Him and His word. (If you want to know more on why is there a need for God to hide information and the future from us, refer to my post 'God of the Unknowns'.)

Conclusion

Having said so much, the truth is that God can easily just tell us what His specific will for us is, regardless of whether we can appreciate it or whether we will obey it. And He is surely more than happy to tell us; it's His surprise gift for us, a present He prepared since before we were born; before the beginning of time! He has waited so long, so long, to finally give it to us, to see the delight on our faces when we receive it. But He knows that now, not only may the delight not be there, but we may even feel upset at what He has prepared. Thus He is holding back for the day when that present will mean much, much more to us. In the meantime, He drops hints; He trains and moulds us for that day. 

For us on the receiving end, sometimes we forget how much God truly loves, cares and is patient with us. Thus I want to go through this journey of discovery with Him. There are many things I don't like to do, but I would joyfully, excitedly do and find fun, not because of the activity, but because of who I do it with. And who else do I want to go through this adventure with, if not with the One who loves and created me, whose grace and kindness has transformed my life?  What God truly desires is a relationship with us, the Church, a radiant church - without blemish and free from accusation. I pray that we fully appreciate the gravity of these verses:

Ephesians 5:25b-27 NIV - .... just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 

Communities of God: Caretakers (Part 2: Pitfalls)

This is a direct continuation of my previous post, 'Caretakers'. If you haven't read it, then I do strongly recommend you to! This post will be about what I feel are pitfalls and some stumbling blocks that caretakers often face as they serve their community; many of them which I personally experienced. I wished I could find a way to squeeze these into the previous post as part of the trilogy - but unfortunately that will become way too long. But I will still refer to these series of posts as a trilogy HAHA :) 

As caretakers, many things are against us. Our fleshly limitations - time, energy, resources, personal responsibilities and physical commitments; the world - temptations, material wealth, all sorts of fleshy gratification; the devil - moving in the spiritual realm against us, launching spiritual attacks that have an impact on the physical realm. Lastly, our own brokenness and sins, which will be what this post is about. Let's begin~

Depending on Ourselves to do God's work

The first one I will address is the lack of dependence of God and instead mainly depending on other things, which can be our titles, abilities, wisdom/understanding or resources. I want to bring up the story of the first king of Israel, Saul to illustrate this point. (Read 1 Samuel 13-15). Some of the points surfaced here are also relevant to our personal walk with God, as after all we are both servants (as caretakers) and children of God (as members of the Church and the specific communities) at the same time. My writing will be from the viewpoint of caretakers though. I'll do a summary below, for now just go with the longg flow!

Chapter 13
The first time Saul failed to depend on God was while he was waiting for the arrival of the prophet Samuel. I must say that Saul is really brave - v5-7 showed how bleak the situation was and yet he was willing to go on ahead with the battle against the Philistines without the assurance of God (in the presence of Samuel). Samuel as a priest was probably the one who was supposed to offer the offerings with his status as the prophet of God. Saul was a king and should not have made the offering himself, and by doing so Saul shows that he disregarded direct divine blessing that should come through Samuel from God. Saul, as the genera (caretaker) of his army, may have been pressured by the situation; the Philistines occupied Michmash and might at any moment simply charge down the valley upon Gigal. Saul only had 600 men with him (v15) against the multitudes of the Philistines (v5). A few hours of delay on Samuel part was seen as fatal in Saul's opinion, but that is only because he forgot/did not trust that even though Samuel was not there, the Sovereign LORD is. Isn't this just like us, caretakers, sometimes? God tells us to speak something 'odd' or difficult to say to our flock; to point out sins in another's life; to plan/lead events of a particular nature... And we panic/squirm/become uncomfortable, forgetting that even when we don't have the solution, we have the Solution-Provider with us. Instead of doing it God's way, we choose to do it our way? And as if to rub it in his face, Samuel comes RIGHT AFTER Saul has finished making the offerings. Not before, not during, not long after, but right after. I feel like what the Word of God is saying here is this: "If only you have waited just a bit more. If only you would have trusted God a little bit more. A bit more. That bit more would have made the difference. Why don't you just persevere?" A similar understanding comes to mind in 2 Peter 3:9a: "The Lord is not slow in keeping His promises, as some understand slowness...." The context is different in this verse, but it still speaks of the Lord's coming-to-save-the-day. Caretakers, let us not fall into this pitfall of depending on our own human wisdom and understanding of the 'right time' and the 'right thing' and the 'right way' to do the work of God. It's not ultimately about results (in the war with the Philistines, eventually Israel won despite Saul's disobedience), but about the lack of perseverance and obedience to God's command, as though He had not done enough to deserve our trust. 

Chapter 14
Just like us, Saul is a caretaker of his flock. His soldiers can't disobey him in the military - they honor him as their leader and king, obeying him unquestioningly (which may not be a good thing in civilian settings, but in the military is of utmost importance). Because of his (caretaker) actions, people suffered, needlessly, in my and his son's opinion (v29). In v24, Saul banned his solders from eating, probably so as to save time and continue pursuing the Philistines who were on the run (v22). Unfortunately, this ban caused some to be cursed, such as Jonathan (Saul's precious and beloved son) who was not aware and also some of the soldiers to resort to sin to meet their legitimate needs. We don't know if Saul gave this command after praying or Samuel told him to do so, but from Saul's track record of being impulsive and not seeking Godly counsel and instructions (again in v18-19), most likely he set it based on his own wisdom and thought process. Because of his dependence on himself and not on God, he caused suffering and sins to befall on his people. For us caretakers, as we get our community/flock to submit to and obey our instructions, are our instructions made with God in mind, with God's input and command as priority? Our inability to depend on God more than ourselves WILL surely and eventually shortchange our community - and surely that's not how we want to love them. 

Chapter 15
Saul, again, made a blunder. Samuel, on God's divine command, expressly commanded Saul to completely destroy the Amalekites and spare nothing, not even the cattle (v3). I am not certain why even the livestock too were ordered to be destroyed instead of taken; what I read from an online commentary mentions that it is so that Israel would be seen as an administrator of God's wrath on nations 'whose abominations made them ripe for destruction', instead of a murderous nation eyeing others' wealth and riches. I agree with this viewpoint and add my own: that God was also testing Saul to see if he would finally obey God. After all, the leader of God's chosen people must be in sync with God and willing to obey, or else the entire nation would not be God's desired instrument. After the previous two times that Saul depended on himself to make decisions, God, in His mercy, still gave him a third chance. The first time, God had mercy; He still let Saul be king, just that his kingdom/lineage will not last. The second time, nothing was said about his actions in 4:18-19 (based on the passage itself). The third time (v14-25), Saul not only did not destroy the livestock, letting Israel took them for themselves, but even sacrificed some of them to God - who told them to destroy the livestock! What irony, and I see so much parallels in this and our own personal walk with God, but let me focus on two things here: 
Firstly, Saul is an ambitious man and probably he valued wealth and splendor as well. There is nothing wrong with this, but he sought this at the expense of putting them before God's command, and the very thing he sought was taken from him. He was rejected as king (v26), the richest person in the entire nation, a blessing prepared and provided by God for the labour of the kingship of Saul, for the sake of some livestock - this is a warning us all, that whatever we do not surrender in our heart and put at God's feet will never last and will be taken away from us. What would his followers and community say, if they knew how much this person has strayed from God? What would Jonathan say about his father, and how could he continue to be proud of him - not only did his father disobey God, but also because of this disobedience took the opportunity to the throne away from him (Jonathan).

Secondly, Saul said in v24 that he was pressured by the people. As a king of the nation of people who obeyed him unquestioningly to fight, who actually starved themselves at his command, where did this sudden fear of the people come from? Sounds like an excuse. (Interlude: In fact, I can't help but raise the parallel that due to the ban, the soldiers ended up sinning by killing livestock and eating raw meat, and now again they sinned due to via livestock. Perhaps, this all happened because initially Saul did not seek the Lord prior to setting the ban on food in 14:24.) Regardless, the reaction/pressure by our community is real, and sometimes it is truly scary. Numerically, we are much smaller than our flock and especially in today's society, authority is not something that people innately value and observe very much. In a world of democratic elections, caretakers and leaders in Christian settings too need to learn to appeal to those they are serving. However, the lesson from the story of Saul is that as caretakers, we have to stand firm. A compromise can have disastrous effects, not just on our personal ambitions to serve God powerfully, but also on the community - we want to lead them to God, not to sin. 

Summary
If we depend on ourselves and not on God as we serve His people and community as caretakers, the outcome would be: 
We do not grow while serving. In the three settings where Saul could have chosen to depend on God, he did not. From chapter 13 to 14, he committed the same mistake. In 15, again he chose to not heed the commands of God. There was no growth; there was no stretching of his perseverance, faith or wisdom. To Saul's credit, there was sparks of obedience throughout the chapters, but they seemed opportunistic, only when his interests coincided with God instead of a wholehearted obedience. Caretakers, each time we depend on ourselves, we are simply discarding a chance for God to understand Him better, and to mould us to be more like His son, Jesus. Some pain, yet no gain, leads to great pain.

We miss out opportunities both for our communities and ourselves. Jonathan explicitly stated in 14:30: "My father has made trouble for the country.... if the men had eaten... would not the slaughter of the Philistines have been even greater?" If only Saul depended and acted based on God's counsel, the entire army would not have lost the chance to destroy the Philistines completely - they could have killed more of them and there was also no need for internal strife amongst the soldiers as Saul needed to fulfill his oath to kill Jonathan for breaking the ban. Also, for Saul himself, if he depended on God's providence and promise of choosing him as king over Israel, obeying the command to destroy the livestock in chapter 15, would not have lost his throne and also his wealth and the opportunity to pursue the ambitions in his heart. From chapter 15 onward, His reign and his battles/wars will no longer have the approval, support and assurance of the Most High. As caretakers, are our instructions and plans for the community made with God in mind and His input as priority? If not, I pray that God will open our eyes to how we are shortchanging everyone.

We may cause burnt out and sin in the lives of our communities and ourselves. Saul, by pushing his soldiers to pursue the Philistines with no rest nor food, resulted them in being fatigued (v28), so fatigued that they did not obey the Law which stated that they cannot eat meat with blood in it, thus sinning/ As caretakers, we must remember that pushing our community/flock too hard may instead be counter-productive and damage them. For the best balance of the pushing and resting, we have to ask God and depend on His plans so that we can build them up properly - Saul's human wisdom probably did not foresee this unfolding of events. Also, for Saul himself, he might not have resisted the pressures from his soldiers (v24) because he was fatigued physically and emotionally from the entire war campaign. And why was he so tired? Naturally because wars are tiring, but also because he did much on his own accord based on his own thinking and not listening to Samuel nor God's instruction. His burnt-out and fatigue resulted in him not enforcing God's command; resulted in himself sinning. Caretakers, we must depend on God and His command; His command will definitely have 'rest' in it, because God knows us and our and our communities' needs 'even before a word is on my tongue' (Psalms 139:4) 

We do not know how to sit still and wait upon God. We only know how to 'do something'. Almost at each juncture where Saul needs to make a decision in the 3 chapters, he chooses acting instead of waiting on God. On some occasions, he expressed regret over his actions (14:33b-35, 15:24-25,30). Thus this hints that perhaps it is not that Saul was trying to disobey God or that he was unsubmissive, but that he doesn't know what else to do when the situation comes. The only way he knows to express his devotion to God was through action, through serving and not waiting, being still and praying. As caretakers we may fall into this trap, whereby we keep wanting to do something for our community/flock, even when God tells us to be patient or to just wait and see. We have to learn to love them with and without actions, because God is still working on them regardless of what we are doing or not doing :)

Update: We do not know how to depend on fellow caretakers. In chapter 14, there was a lack of cooperation and understanding between Saul and his son Jonathan. Jonathan went to the enemies' camp without telling his father, and thankfully God acted on behalf of the Israelites, and that Saul was an opportunist who took the opportunity Jonathan created, and again thankfully not as the cost of his life. In the second instance in v24, after Saul declared the ban, he did not ensure that Jonathan knew about it, which resulted in conflict amongst the two that was literally life-threatening. Thankfully the rest of the soldiers (community) intervened. However, there were still costs to their actions. Caretakers, we must be united and support one another. Perhaps if Jonathan and Saul were by each others' side, supporting, correcting, rebuking and pushing another towards God, Saul would not have sinned and lost the favor of God as king. Communication and trust is something that we have to develop and build intentionally, for many of us caretakers may not have a long history together. To serve the community of God and give our very best for them would take ALL that we have.

Community Effects

For this portion, I would talk about the execution aspect, in terms of how we care for the community i.e. how we treat them, some of which may not be wise/beneficial for them.

Firstly, we may not give them our best in terms of tangible and specific serving skills. These skills can be our teaching of the Word of God - how we facilitate discussions and learning. In terms of musicianship if we are leading sung worship in our community; intentionally improving technically to allow people worship God in a better environment. It can also be the choice of words or the tone we use when we disciple or simply interact with them. Or gathering feedback. Or planning events; or anything. We have to get better at these skills, to help build up our community better! For myself, I believe that God has given me gifting in discipling people and building them up. This blog in itself is an example of how I have been working to improve my skills. However, I am weaker in speaking into the lives of people verbally, and there also aren't that many opportunities. One rare opportunity came my way recently - for the recent bible study camp, I was asked if I wanted to be the Bible study leader (BSL) to lead discussions in my group. Naturally, I said yes to the opportunity to improve in this skill. However, I was required to go for a briefing before the camp itself, and in my laziness and great dislike for briefings I immediately rejected the role. I told that to one of the members in the Christian community I'm caretaking of in school and the feedback I got was "how to feel when my caretaker always say he is lazy". Apparently, my laziness had been negatively influencing those around me, and I wasn't even aware. It was like an awakening slap on my face of sorts for me - because I always thought of laziness as part of 'me' and contained in me. Over the next few days I was discussing this with God and eventually I decided to take up the BSL role - and by God's grace, the camp committee also accommodated my late request (thanks a tonne!!!!!). And praise God that through that 6 days + 1 briefing (which I forced myself to turn up at), I can see my verbal discipleship skills improving so so so significantly. For you, maybe what is stopping you from improving your skills may be laziness too, or it may be lack of awareness for the need to; feelings of inadequacy or that God will not use you. Anything, really. But I hold on to this verse, and I hope this verse will encourage you too! 

Psalm 144:1 NIV - Praise be the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.

The battle and wars will come whether we're ready or not. Because we live in the era of the last times, where the devil opposes the reign of God. So why not let's work towards being well-equipped instead? For ourselves, and also for our communities :)

Special note: A specific skill I want to mention that is extremely useful for us caretakers is the ability to reduce costs (and maximize benefits) for the community. What I mean is that we must be aware that there are costs of participating in community programs and structure. Meetings take time; planning takes resources; discipling requires effort; turning up and participating expends emotional and social energy. And most of these all costs money as well. Our communities trust us and entrust what they have to us, and thus we must be faithful stewards of these as well. The point is not about "no pain, no gain" but instead "least pain, most gain". Can we shorten the time and frequency needed for our meetings, briefings and cellgroups, so people can go home earlier to have adequate rest and prepare for their work/school/appointments the next day? Can we have program-planning processes that doesn't require everybody, instead of just asking everyone to turn up for the sake of 'convenience' or 'so they are aware'? As we reduce the costs for our community, naturally as caretakers we would also benefit - and now we have more with which to give and devote into the community or other areas of service unto God. This skill develops as we simply become more aware of our communities needs, and grow in our desire to meet them; and also in tandem as we get better at our serving skills (the above point).

(Thanks Desmond for this part - I'm only editing what he typed!) Secondly, we as caretakers, see certain deeds/actions as beneficial but sometimes fail to emphasize the heart postures or values behind them. It is very common for us to overemphasize the importance of the act itself rather than the spirit behind such acts - the 'why'. An example would be punctuality. I used to view punctuality for cellgroups (lifegroups) and church services as THE most important thing for Christians to uphold and not neglect/lack. When my lifegroup mates arrived on time or early, I would affirm them for being punctual. Nothing wrong with that. However, for those who were late, I would say sarcastic words to gently rebuke them. However, eventually the level of sarcasm within me went up and I even suggested like a coin box for people to donate 10 cent each time they are late. I felt that this would help people to be punctual. Until one day when a brother approached me and told me that I was being a little legalistic. It then dawned on me: ”what makes me different from the Pharisees and Sadducees whom Jesus criticized for being so legalistic?” As caretakers, we need to model after Jesus (i.e. grow towards Christ-likeness). Regardless of whether such suggestions would really resolve the issue of punctuality, was I caring more about the practice itself, or whether those who are late felt loved enough to want to be punctual for the others in their community? In order to trigger a genuine heart transformation amongst our communities, we need to see from God’s perspective:

1 Samuel 16:7 NIV - “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

With that in mind, we can then change our response to combating issues in our community. To those early or on time, I continued to affirm/commend them. For those who were late, I tried to figure out why they were late before commenting. For those who were persistently late, I explained the rationales behind valuing punctuality, rather than jumping into the act of being punctual itself. 

Another common issue along the same vein is attendance. Now the first thing we must be certain of is the rationale behind emphasizing attendance. By turning up at community occasions, we (1) honour God by upholding our commitments to the community He has placed us in (2) be Jesus to our community as we love and be loved by them (3) benefit by growing more in God and God's Word through fellowship with God’s people, hearing testimonies of our brothers and sisters about the goodness of God, and also through a time of teaching/discussions. Similar as the above, we can and should affirm/commend those who turn up: “Thanks for coming despite your schedule/long day. Your desire for God inspires me.” For those who have not been coming, we then find out why - and react accordingly, in love and support, to help them see the point of turning up (if they do not already see it.) The tricky thing is always to decide and agree upon what is 'valid' reasons for not upholding our commitments to the community. 

To sum up: In all circumstances, caretakers must never, consciously or unconsciously let the physical acts of being punctual, present or anything of similar nature (such as acts of giving) distract us from what is truly important! We are not growing our communities to be robots mechanically doing what is good and right but with wrong heart motives/postures. We, as caretakers, are growing them (and ourselves too), to understand what they (and we) should be doing and allow them to do it out of their own accord, as inspired by God. Having said that, the onus of individuals being convicted in the heart to act in a particular manner is ultimately on the person himself/herself, via the grace of God. Our job as caretakers is to provide knowledge, experience and the Word of God and then to encourage adoption, as in 1 Corinthians 3:6 NIV - “I planted the seed. Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.”
(Thanks so much Desmond!)

Lastly, I also want to briefly mention this not really as a pitfall but as a blindspot: finding and building new leaders. Many leaders (caretakers) do a good job in everything and continue to serve God powerfully, but eventually our time will come and we must pass on the baton to someone else. Sometimes we can foresee the end of this season of serving in the particular community, but sometimes it's very sudden and unexpected. If we have not been consciously building new leaders, the community may be the one that is the most affected. Such was the case of of Joshua. Moses build up Joshua to bring the Israelites into the Promised Land and Joshua did just that. However, when Joshua passed away there was no one to take up the next leg and thus the time of Judges occurred and Israel suffered significantly during this time. I once had the privilege of working a team of people to pioneer and build a cellgroup in a school (not mine) whereby we only have 2 members of our church there. We were off to quite a good start and had quite a few plans and structures in place to keep it going, and in a way because I was quite active I took the lead in some of these initiatives we have. However, about 3 or 4 months into it, I was transited into another ministry and thus the work was left to the rest of my team members. Unfortunately, I think I didn't do a good job in imparting and also empowering them with the conviction and skills because after I left, there was something close to a hiatus on the pioneering work. That was when I realize the importance of passing the baton. If not, the community will be like a flock of sheep without shepherd and easily devoured and damaged by the devil. (Side note:I know that sometimes its because it is easier and faster if do things ourselves as compared to watching and guiding someone else to do it, but the costs are still borne by the community ultimately. So no excuse!)

Forgetting we are part of the community (SPECIAL MENTION!)

Lastly, I want to give special mention to this pitfall that virtually hits all caretakers. After sometime in our role, especially if you possess a title, we often start to forget that we are part of the community. I am really really guilty of it. By 'forget', what I meant was that we have the 'been there, done that' mindset, and we stop doing a lot of the things that we get our community to do. We don't follow the program and are often more concerned about our responsibilities within the community (which may not be wrong, but is often inadvisable if we overdo it). Recently, at the bible study camp that I repeatedly mention, I saw and personally practised this 'transcendent caretaker' attitude. During the last night where the camp committee chairperson was talking to all the campers, I looked back and saw quite a large number of the older people (who are also the caretakers) in the fellowship community, essentially just doing their own stuff, whatever it is. I was a little bored and tired, so I also went to find one of my caretaker friends and chatted. I was soon joined by another and the three of us were oblivious to the program for about half an hour. (Dear chairperson, if you're reading this I'm sorry!) Whatever reasons we have as caretakers, I still feel that we in generally have this attitude that we're above the program of some sort - and I hope that I will rectify this mindset of mine. There are always something to learn or to be reminded about, even with our additional exposure/knowledge. And even if we truly are so familiar with it, I think we should still refrain for the sake of our community - what examples do we set for them if we treat the programs/initiatives/actions by other leaders and caretakers of the community so lightly? We must not lose our credibility as caretakers or cause the program or other caretakers to lose their credibility, purpose in the eyes of our community. (Having said that, I think this is something that is incredibly difficult to combat for myself :O)

While the above is about following programs/initiatives/actions etc, the same can be said about our holiness. What we warn and teach our community about, as caretakers we must also watch ourselves, as written in Galatians 6:1 - Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you may also be tempted.

Conclusion

Caretaking is a noble service - it's the job Jesus first assumed after He started His public ministry on Earth. He found a few fishermen as disciples and started the community called 'Jesus and His beloved disciples'. It was also one of last few explicit acts of service He did before He went up to heaven. (John 21) He asked Peter, one of His closest disciples: "Do you love me?" "Yes", came the answer. Then Jesus said: "Feed my sheep." This was the call to caretaking, which Peter accepted and carried to his death. After that, however, Peter made a blunder and was publicly scolded by Paul (in Galatians 2:10-21) for drawing a divisive line amongst the entire community of God's people - between the Jews and the Gentile. We too, like him, are going to make mistakes as caretakers no matter how holy and learned and transformed we are. Even as we continually avoid pitfalls or climb out of them as we serve God, we are ultimately still imperfect people, and the communities we build will at its best be an imperfect structure. But our hope is not in imperfect people or imperfect structure, but in the perfect God who will turn and use all things for His purpose - His good, perfect and pleasing will.

I pray that we hold the example of Jesus the universe's best Caretaker and grow towards it.

John 10:11-18a NIV - "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep."

"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring the also. They too will listen to my voice, and there share be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own accord."

Communities of God: Caretakers

Finally managed to finish the previous two posts of this trilogy! :D This has been the most intensive posts I've made since the start of this blog, so praise God for sustaining my motivation to write. After writing the previous two, I've been away for almost a week on the VCF SWAT Camp 2015 - and as with all previous camps, where God took 6 days of my life and upgraded my walk with Him by a few more levels. Most worth-it investment of time in each of my years in university, and I'll definitely continue :D The content of the camp is relevant for this post, so praise God for new insights! A shout-out to my beloved Group 19 - you're dearly remembered and beloved. 
This post follows after 'Communities of God' and 'Loneliness'. I wrote this post based on my personal experience in church and also in my Christian community in university, and I learnt that caretakers of a structured community are often able to make or break a community. I will also add in what I see people doing and the outcomes of their actions.

Who are the Caretakers (of a community)?

The literal meaning of 'Caretakers' in dictionaries is "people employed to look after a particular object." In our context, this refers to people employed and chosen by God to look after His people. Caretakers are people who are in the position and possession of the means to build and influence the community, regardless of titles (or the lack of it). So a caretaker can be a regular member, a senior who has been there for some time or a titled leader. You can also someone who feel included, or someone who feel excluded, (refer to 'Communities of GOd' post) even if you're a leader in the community. It doesn't matter, as long as you are able to build and influence the community. (though in this post I often see caretakers as also simultaneously holding titles)

The Bible describes caretakers this way: 1 Peter 5:2 - Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, watching over them - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve. A defining characteristic of caretakers is that they have a heart for their communities; a burden and a desire to serve and help the people grow towards God and also make the community a better environment for God to move. This 'heart' comes from realizing how much you had been blessed by God through the community, and that you feel that God has put you there for a purpose and a reason - often to also help others gain what you have gained out of this community. However, for some of us, there is no such noble thing as a 'heart/burden for this place.' You are serving 'because you must, not because you are willing' and maybe you're not 'eager to serve' at all. Maybe this responsibility simply fell on you because there is no one else. Anyway, it's fine - the Bible has this to say as well: Colossians 3:17 - And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

One and a half years ago, I was meeting two people from other ministries to discuss a collaborative project that I felt would benefit the larger body of the Christian community. However, because this was technically outside of my direct responsibilities, during the meeting, they asked me why I was not working on the ministry that I was serving in and instead on the larger community. My reply was that at the moment my ministry had nothing much going on, and I wanted to contribute to the larger community via this project. And then they asked: "What is your burden for your ministry?" And I said: "Well, I have no burden." The reply I got from them was stunning: "Then you should step down." I was flabbergasted, because I saw these people for the first time in my life, and I have no words to describe their actions, however right or wrong, except for rude. As you can expect, the collaborative project didn't go through and then I went home and asked God:" Is what the person said true? What if I served with no burden, is that okay?" God was honest with me - He said: "Yea, it's not okay, but it doesn't mean to stop serving." Looking back, I truly believe that in the ideal state, we should be serving at places with a burden in our hearts - I will term this the 'primary' ministry, the place where God wants us to work mainly. (Of course, we must also seek God to be certain of which is our 'primary' ministry. It can be more than one!) But in the meantime, until the burden is there, we have to remain there. How else would we develop the burden? Matthew 9:36 writes: "When He (Jesus) saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." As we continue serving, we will start to be more aware of and personally feel God's heart and desire and purpose for the ministry. Though I believe it is still God-honoring to serve at a place without a burden in our hearts just because we want to obey God's command, it is better to be personally vested and interested and convicted as well. We will then find it easier to go the extra mile and give our lives for the community. So thanks, my two unnamed friends, for the rude awakening. (I'm still grateful!) If you're in such a situation, I encourage you to, as you remain in that role/community, 1) look around and see what can be done/improved to bring greater glory to God, 2) pray for God to gift us with His burden for it. Through this, I pray that your spiritual eyes will be opened and that you will develop that burden and conviction as in Colossians 1:9. 

I also want to add a disclaimer that the above is for places of serving that He ordained for us to be committed to for a time being. For the more sporadic/once-off sort of serving, the verse is James 2:17 - In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. After all, if we only served in places with a burden/conviction in our hearts, there are many things we won't do. We won't bless the poor we see on the way home; we won't care for our friends in distress; we wont.... you get the drift.

What is our role as Caretakers

Our role as caretakers only makes sense with the purpose of the community - what the structured community exists for. I do acknowledge that not all communities are mainly for the express interest of its members and pastoral in nature (e.g. cellgroups), there are some that are of a specific serving purpose (e.g. drama team, musicians). But regardless, there are still (maybe smaller) components and potentials for pastoral activities and purposes that can be sought by caretakers. I will be using the Acts 2 church to illustrate the purposes of Christian communities, and after that add my own opinions based on experience.

Acts 2:42 - They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Role: Get people to grow (teaching them) in God and to get them to know one another better and learn/support one another (fellowship). Also get them to see each other as family (breaking of bread) and fight the spiritual warfare (prayer).

v43 - Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. Role: Be examples to the flock, echoed in 1 Peter 5:3.

v44-46 All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts. Role: Get the community to go through life together and not just on their own. Get them to meet up regularly (continued to meet together)

v47 - praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Role: Get the community to be inclusive and blessing the people around them, and also to outreach and evangelize.

The above roles are something that we are more or less familiar with. Now I want to add my personal opinions on what feel caretakers have not sufficiently emphasized/realized. I believe that caretakers have to be the people who remind our community about and also make them re-experience the importance of community. Most people, including ourselves, often forget or de-emphasize remaining and being connected to our community as the troubles and commitments of life come. I am sure a quick examination of our own lives will convince you of this point. Just that for caretakers, we have a continual burden/heart/conviction/responsibility that reminds us of the need to think about and do something for our community. Reminders and re-experience initiatives can be as simple as messaging them to ask about their lives, meeting for meals, writing cards, buying gifts or be as elaborate as holding events, (sung) worship and prayer sessions.

The next one, I am especially convicted about and also aim to do it in every community I am in. It is about being family to the people - including being their fathers and mothers. The Bible has this to say about how God sees His people, mirroring the relationship between caretakers and their flock:

Isaiah 40:11 ESV - Like a shepherd He will tend His flock: in His arm He will gather the lambs and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes.

What a beautiful and endearing imagery. In university, I met a very dear and amazing friend in Christian Fellowship. Her name is Esther. For all her quirkiness, one thing that amazes me about this person is her parenting. No, she is NOT a mother at the moment. But in her community, she is such a wonderful parent to those around her. Not just people she knows personally, but also to those whom she doesn't know, and who doesn't know her. Recently at the Bible study camp, I again witnessed her in action. Many times and with many different persons, I see her talking and praying with them (who are very often crying a river). And to describe the scene, I only have excerpts from Psalm 68:5 - A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows; and a single word description: beautiful. Sometimes as caretakers, we often think of ourselves as 'brothers and sisters', but at times what our communities need are 'parents', because people are feeling orphaned. Who are the ones mainly responsible for you in your house? Siblings, or parents? The latter, most likely (or rather intended to be). Can we, as caretakers, take this responsibility and opportunity to play such roles to those around us? God never sees Himself as simply a larger/stronger sheep with a bit more responsibility and ability than the rest. He seems Himself as a shepherd; carrying them and leading them. If you're still not convinced, then the Bible writes: "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2. This is what Paul asks the Church to do, so let us be prepared to be seen by others as parents. 

What happens if we don't do our role well?

The truth is, even if you don't do it well, there may not be obvious damage done to the community. Perhaps the culture of the community is such that the caretakers need not do much and people will still meet, fellowship and grow. Praise God for the previous generations of caretakers who built the culture. Or perhaps God is divinely intervening to open up the hearts of people towards one another. Regardless, none is to your credit and you're like, "sure, I don't need glory or recognition." If you're thinking like this, I can confidently tell you that God is sighing at you. You have not understood His heart. Communities are structures that act like a bridge into people's hearts and lives; a bridge that God Himself will walk on. (That is the reason for the picture at the top of this post.) The bridge needs to be maintained, to be enlarged, to be improved and upgraded upon, so that more of God can come into the person through the community and interactions within. If not, eventually this bridge will suffer damage and eventually crumble, due to wear and tear and the devil's assaults. Even the best bridges will one day crumble, much less the fact that in most communities, the bridges are so so so far from perfect. 

So how do we do our role well?

I wish to suggest some possible ways by which we can address issues in our communities, and I want to focus on the relationship component of the caretakers and the flock (not the physical 'doing' aspect). This list is obviously not exhaustive, but what I think are common issues plaguing most communities. I will be using Luke 19:1-10 and 'not being fully inclusive' as a case study to be extrapolated for addressing other issues.

Not being fully inclusive

There are some communities which cause a substantial amount of people to feel alienated/excluded. In my previous posts on 'Communities of God' and 'Loneliness', I encouraged people who feel alienated on what they should think/do/respond in their communities. Here, I would focus on the caretakers' point of view. An all-inclusive culture in a community is evident in the life of Jesus - He was a welcomer of tax-collectors, prostitutes, lepers, and also the Samaritans - whom the Jews despised. I want to focus on the story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-10 (Do refer to it when you read this part!) 

What I think as caretakers we can draw from this passage is firstly that we should not be too wary and afraid of addressing the excluded people (or even singling them out, with wisdom and tact of course). Everyone probably knows Zacchaeus's status and his flaws and sins of cheating and extorting fellow Jews for personal benefit (v2, as all tax-collectors were doing in those days). But the passage never mentions if everyone knows that he was on the sycamore-fig tree (v4), or that he too was interested in and waiting for Jesus (v3). Likewise, in our communities, as caretakers we may know who feels excluded or less connected - but sometimes we try to ignore or sweep them under the carpet, not realizing that they too are interested in God and are unknowingly trying to grow and know more about Him. Then Jesus, in full view of the public, talked to Zacchaeus and established contact with him (v5). Now everyone knows about Zacchaeus's effort, and I'm sure there are some in the crowd who thinks that this terrible tax-collector might actually have another side to him. Most sermons would see Jesus' public dialogue with Zacchaeus as a sign that Jesus was not afraid of the judgment of the community and that the souls of people matter to Him more. I agree, but could it have also been intentional and intended for Jesus to do what He did? Jesus could have simply waited for the crowd to disperse (eventually) and then sought out Zacchaues, or He could have simply visited Zacchaeus' house directly or sent someone to tell him to visit Jesus at His lodging. But no, Jesus chose to make his existence, and probably his needs too, known to the entire community. Are we afraid of making known our brothers' or sisters' needs by exposing (in a sense) these needs in the name of 'protecting their feelings'? Or are we actually afraid of talking to the crowd (not knowing their response) about our beloved brothers and sisters, as Jesus possibly was actually doing? Sometimes, it's not that people do not want to include others in the community, but they are often awkward or do not know where and when to start. By pointing it out, we can help in rising them to action.

The second point I want to raise in the passage, is about building personal relationships with people who are excluded. This one we are more familiar: Jesus' insistence and enthusiasm for going to Zacchaeus' house (v5, 'I MUST... TODAY.') were seen as as a desire to be associated with and have a personal friendship and relationship with Zacchaeus, despite his labels and statuses. Also, I heard that it was customary for people to visit one anothers' house to 'hangout' in those days. But I'm sure that there are other hangout places around. So it may be that Jesus wanted to spend extended time with Zacchaeus. Having repented of his sins and accepting Jesus into his life (v10), I'm sure Zacchaeus had doubts and questions and would want to use the opportunity of having Jesus at his place to clarify all these, because Jesus had shown Himself to be one who was fiercely 'for' him. And this close relationship eventually would bring him closer to God in heart and deeds. If Jesus, miracle-maker and renowned rabbi, welcomed somebody, who would and could and dared to reject the person? At most they could only secretly bear some dislike in their hearts, but nobody would act openly. Only then would they start to view and think about the person objectively, instead of continuously building their disdain for others upon their negative actions and attitudes. Likewise, caretakers have a special influence amongst the community. Build a personal relationship with the person and once he/she is assured of your love and commitment, he/she will be much more willing to combat the wounds and lies in their hearts as he/she embrace the imperfect community, knowing that you are 'on their side'. You will also become more approachable and less daunting to them, just as Jesus was to Zacchaeus. Give the less-included a reason to give the community a chance through you, and give the community a chance to accept and accommodate the excluded, through you. Be the minister of reconciliation, remembering that "There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all....." - Ephesians 4:4-6a

A personal advice (not from the passage above) I have for caretakers about pre-empting potential damages/cost/issues.  When I was a year 1 student in university, there were a lot of people my batch who joined the faculty's Christian fellowship with me; I think about 20 or so. In the next semester, it dwindled to an unspeakable amount as many left, probably because of other increasing pressures such as academics and their own personal reasons. But I also feel that surely in part it is because they do not find that they benefit much from the fellowship, which I attribute to the lack of feelings of inclusion. As for me, I was usually attending the same session as the seniors. What's more, I also went for the annual bible study camp organized by the fellowship, where I gained precious friends that made me feel that this is where I belong. Thus, personally knowing that the threat of not feeling included is real and dangerous, for the next batch of year 1s, I pre-empted it and made an intentional effort to establish personal relationship with every single one of them. Some of these friendships were not very deep because there are so many of them and only one of me, but a difference was made. For this batch, the number of people who remained after the first year was easily more than double of what remained, and many of these people eventually came along to serve God alongside me and became my treasures in this fellowship :D (my subcommittee of 2015, if you're reading this, shout-out to you <3 !) As a caretaker, let's not be lazy and wait for the issues to come knocking on our door! Let's use our experience and wisdom and support from the community to give them our best!

Communities which have lots of disagreements and conflict: The caretaker, again, must be courageous enough to point out the 'Zacchaeus', which are the issues of conflict within the community. Also, strive to be the minister of reconciliation amongst the conflicting parties (even if the parties themselves are caretakers as well) through personal and cordial relationships; be the bridge so they can realize that the other side loves God as much as them, and that they are arguing because they both love God so much (assuming the issues are not about sin), and thus this is something to rejoice about as a community. Do pre-empt and address future issues before they show signs of becoming a full-blown conflict and split the community. 

Communities which are comfortable but are not growing in God: The 'Zacchaeus' that must be pointed out is the sloth, inertia and lack of spiritual eyes to see the importance of God (on top of any other root issues). This must be also be said towards the minority in the community who really want to grow and are on fire for God, before they get very discouraged by the state of affairs and start to leave the community. Engage them to help make a change. Personal relationship here must similarly be employed, but not necessarily as a personal friend. The community is comfortable and that implies that people generally have sufficient friends and emotional support. Instead, as caretakers we need to make relevant the Bible and the kingdom of God in their lives. Thus personal relationship takes the form of  personal teacher; personal mentor; spiritual buddies; personal fellow servants of God etc. Pre-empting will be on preventing the next generation of people joining the community from being accustomed to the lack of desire for God and growth, and how to create a separate culture for them while not judging those not enthusiastic for God. 

Communities which are more conservative, traditional and even boring (in terms of program/practices): The 'Zacchaeus' here is simply the lack of relevance between church and the lives of the flock and the rigid stance that may result in 'doing things for the sake of doing them' or 'tradition'. Personal relationship must take in the form mutual love and understanding between people who are more conservative and those who are more progressive. Members of the flock, being humans, will fall into either category by default and it is important for them to have personal and close friends on the opposite camp - only in this manner will the community understand and help one another to understand, appreciate and serve one another and also together, else there will be a lot of hostility and divisive hurts. Pre-empting is perhaps, in my opinion, to put in place a balanced number of leaders of deferring opinions. Balanced here does not necessarily refer to a 50:50 kind of balance, but depending on the demographics of the flock and the prompting of God. And any decisions/initiatives made must be examined with respect to the biblical soundness of the changes proposed. 'Tradition', in my opinion, is not a good enough reason for no change/trying-out. But we also don't want to destroy the unity of the church by making changes simply to 'change/challenge' existing traditions.

To summarize this part, my personal understanding as caretakers is that we are generally always occupied with 2 things in the community. The first is to build upon and improve our communities' culture and structure, such that people are benefiting and learning all the time even in the absence of explicit, once-off action on the caretakers' part. The second is to build stronger personal relationships - friendships, discipleship, brotherly/sisterly ties, serving - with people in the community. Together, these two will create in the hearts of people a desire for God, His work and His Kingdom, and act as a defence against the assaults from the kingdom of darkness as we do God's work wherever we are called to go. 

Conclusion:

Communities (or churches) are essentially God's great melting pot of all His people, and the outcome of this melting pot is His bride - the radiant church. As caretakers, we must not take communities for granted and must constantly build and improve on it, because the devil is and will always be trying to wreck God's people and His mechanism for life transformation, blessing unto His beloveds. I pray that as caretakers we will always have the understanding that we are all God's beloved, regardless of issues, struggles and differences and desire to bring all into His kingdom as one church. May we always hold the words of Jesus, the universe's best Caretaker, in our hearts:

John 10:16 NIV - "I have other sheep, which are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock with one shepherd."